A wake is a time to pay respects, support loved ones, and remember a life that has passed. While wakes are often less formal than funerals, the setting still calls for thoughtful, respectful attire. Knowing what to wear helps you show consideration for the family and the significance of the moment.
This guide explains what to wear to a wake, including appropriate outfit ideas for men and women, color guidance, and common mistakes to avoid.
Understanding the Purpose and Tone of a Wake
Wakes can vary depending on cultural traditions, religious practices, and family preferences. Some are formal gatherings, while others are more relaxed social remembrances.
Before choosing your outfit, consider:
- Whether the wake is religious or secular
- The venue (funeral home, church, private residence)
- Time of day
- Any guidance provided by the family
When unsure, conservative and understated clothing is always appropriate.
General Style Guidelines for a Wake
These principles help ensure your outfit feels respectful and appropriate.
Dress modestly
Clothing should cover shoulders, chest, and knees where possible.
Choose subdued colors
Dark or muted tones help maintain a calm, respectful appearance.
Avoid drawing attention
Simple silhouettes and minimal accessories are best.
Prioritize comfort
You may be standing or sitting for extended periods.
Appropriate Colors to Wear to a Wake
Traditional and modern wakes both favor subdued color palettes.
Commonly accepted colors include:
- Black
- Charcoal
- Navy
- Dark gray
- Soft neutrals like beige or taupe
- Muted blues or greens
Bright colors and bold prints are generally discouraged unless requested by the family.
What Women Should Wear to a Wake
Women’s outfits should feel calm, polished, and modest.
Dresses and Skirts for Women
Appropriate dress options include:
- Knee-length or midi dresses
- Simple wrap dresses
- A-line dresses in muted tones
Avoid short hemlines, bold patterns, or revealing cuts.
Tops and Bottoms for Women
If choosing separates, consider:
- Blouses
- Fine-knit tops
- Tailored trousers
- Midi skirts
Layering with a cardigan or blazer adds polish.
Shoes and Accessories for Women
Footwear should be understated and comfortable:
- Flats
- Low heels
- Closed-toe shoes
Accessories should remain minimal and discreet.
What Men Should Wear to a Wake
Men’s attire for a wake should be neat and respectful without being overly formal.
Shirts and Jackets for Men
Recommended options:
- Button-down shirts
- Lightweight sweaters
- Blazers or sport coats
Ties are optional and depend on the level of formality.
Pants and Shoes for Men
Appropriate choices include:
- Dress trousers
- Chinos
- Dark, clean jeans (only for very casual wakes)
Footwear should be clean and simple:
- Dress shoes
- Loafers
Dressing for Different Wake Settings
Funeral Home or Church Wake
- Dark, formal colors
- Structured outfits
- Minimal accessories
Home or Informal Gathering
- Soft, muted colors
- Slightly relaxed silhouettes
- Still polished and respectful
What Not to Wear to a Wake
Avoid clothing that may feel disrespectful or distracting.
Avoid:
- Bright colors or bold prints
- Casual clothing like shorts or flip-flops
- Graphic T-shirts
- Athletic wear
- Flashy accessories
If the outfit feels more suited to a casual outing, it’s likely not appropriate.
Cultural and Religious Considerations
Some cultures and religions have specific expectations regarding attire.
If you are unsure:
- Ask a close family member
- Observe cultural norms
- Dress more conservatively
Respecting these traditions shows care and understanding.
Final Thoughts
Knowing what to wear to a wake is about showing respect, empathy, and presence. Choosing modest, understated clothing allows the focus to remain on honoring the individual and supporting their loved ones.
When in doubt, simple, muted, and polished attire is always the right choice.